Sunday, March 15, 2009

Emotions in Disputes

Emotions in disputes are often healthy however they can also block open communications.

Having mediated for the past 3 years, it can be a challenge when the parties revert to screams, threats, walking out, pointing a finger and shouting "You"

One of my first mediation experiences, was one of the parties walking into a private caucus and using the "F" word to each of the individuals including the attorneys and insurance Representatives.

Raw emotion, yes, but difficult when asking the other side to pay over $25,000 in medical bills.

I remember the words clearly from past fire department training, when delivering a baby

"Keep Calm"

As a mediator, I have learned to "keep calm" allowing the venting and at the same time communicating that we need to work together in honest open communications and allowing a "safe harbor" for the individuals.

Generally within minutes a new tone is often displayed.

Emotions often go beyond the disputants and I have witnessed the Attorney's fall in the same destructive path.

A time out, a private meeting, different words and some time genuine laughter can make progress.

Time can also be a great healer and I have seen just a week break can make major progress.

Emotions do play a role in Mediation and "Keeping Calm" in rough waters often will lead to settlement.

Jim W Hildreth Mediator

Real Estate Mediation Services


Jim W Hildreth-Mediator

Laundromat Dispute

Originally uploaded by JimHildreth
We previously wrote that the buyer and seller of a California Laundromat were in a dispute. Much of the dispute involved repairs after close of escrow.

Jim W Hildreth of Real Estate Mediation Services was the mediator and both parties resolved the dispute vs litigation.

The dispute settled in four hours.